I won't complain about waking up in the middle of the night
You'll have to forgive me if there are an insane number of errors and typos in this post. I'm a tad tired today.
In my last post I said that Lola still sleeps in our room, and oh sweet goodness we are trying to change that. For one, she's almost grown out of her Rock-and-Play, which may be the best baby gear item that we have! It has been awesome! But also, hello... she just turned FIVE MONTHS OLD.
But the truth is that when it comes to starting new routines, I'm just not the best. And when it's 2:00 in the morning and she's crying, instead of going into her room, repositioning her, and finding her lovey and pacifier, I'd much rather just grab her and bring her into our room because it's easier. But I know it's not the best.
So we bit the bullet. Three nights ago we started putting Miss Lola in her crib. The first night she lasted until 3:30 AM, the second night she lasted until 1:30 AM, and last night... wait for it... 6:30 AM!!! Now, please do not think that she slept straight through from 8:00 PM - 6:30 AM, because she most definitely did not. I can't even tell you how many times Joe and I got up last night to reposition her and get her settled. But I know it was a lot.
By now we, as parents, are used to not sleeping through the night. For over 5 months now, we've been getting up, changing her diaper with one eye shut, feeding her, and rocking and rocking her until she falls back asleep. And I have to admit that during those nights where I would wake up at 4:00 AM, and it would be my FOURTH time to get up that night, I would find myself getting angry with my newborn. And I still get angry from time to time. Like when Lola sleeps through the night consistently (in her Rock-and Play, of course) for like 5 nights in a row, and then she decides she wants to get up 3 times a night, I am ticked. Why does she do this to me???
But I'm trying to change.
There are far too many stories of people losing their babies during pregnancy, losing their babies once they are in this world, or even those couples that are unable to get pregnant at all. My cousin just text me today telling me of one of her coworkers that was pregnant and lost her baby two days after her due date. I have no idea what that's like. The feelings, the overwhelming hurt that has to come with that.
But I know that those people who have lost their babies or who aren't able to have one would do anything to be waking up at 3:00 AM. They would do anything to hear their baby cry out for them. To feed them. To change them. To rock them back to sleep.
I am choosing to be thankful.
I'm thankful to have Lola. At 2:00 AM, I'm lucky and blessed to have her. I do not want to resent her for waking me up in the middle of the night. God has given her to me to protect her and take care of her. The least I can do is have joy in it.
So that is my desire. Something I am going to try so hard to pursue. I will not be angry when she wakes me up in the middle of the night.
I would rather her wake me up a hundred times than for her to not be here at all.
We are blessed
In my last post I said that Lola still sleeps in our room, and oh sweet goodness we are trying to change that. For one, she's almost grown out of her Rock-and-Play, which may be the best baby gear item that we have! It has been awesome! But also, hello... she just turned FIVE MONTHS OLD.
But the truth is that when it comes to starting new routines, I'm just not the best. And when it's 2:00 in the morning and she's crying, instead of going into her room, repositioning her, and finding her lovey and pacifier, I'd much rather just grab her and bring her into our room because it's easier. But I know it's not the best.
So we bit the bullet. Three nights ago we started putting Miss Lola in her crib. The first night she lasted until 3:30 AM, the second night she lasted until 1:30 AM, and last night... wait for it... 6:30 AM!!! Now, please do not think that she slept straight through from 8:00 PM - 6:30 AM, because she most definitely did not. I can't even tell you how many times Joe and I got up last night to reposition her and get her settled. But I know it was a lot.
By now we, as parents, are used to not sleeping through the night. For over 5 months now, we've been getting up, changing her diaper with one eye shut, feeding her, and rocking and rocking her until she falls back asleep. And I have to admit that during those nights where I would wake up at 4:00 AM, and it would be my FOURTH time to get up that night, I would find myself getting angry with my newborn. And I still get angry from time to time. Like when Lola sleeps through the night consistently (in her Rock-and Play, of course) for like 5 nights in a row, and then she decides she wants to get up 3 times a night, I am ticked. Why does she do this to me???
But I'm trying to change.
There are far too many stories of people losing their babies during pregnancy, losing their babies once they are in this world, or even those couples that are unable to get pregnant at all. My cousin just text me today telling me of one of her coworkers that was pregnant and lost her baby two days after her due date. I have no idea what that's like. The feelings, the overwhelming hurt that has to come with that.
But I know that those people who have lost their babies or who aren't able to have one would do anything to be waking up at 3:00 AM. They would do anything to hear their baby cry out for them. To feed them. To change them. To rock them back to sleep.
I am choosing to be thankful.
I'm thankful to have Lola. At 2:00 AM, I'm lucky and blessed to have her. I do not want to resent her for waking me up in the middle of the night. God has given her to me to protect her and take care of her. The least I can do is have joy in it.
So that is my desire. Something I am going to try so hard to pursue. I will not be angry when she wakes me up in the middle of the night.
I would rather her wake me up a hundred times than for her to not be here at all.
We are blessed
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